It's about Mom, and today it's about mine.

It's Mother's Day. Moms everywhere are being celebrated and here is a giant hug from me to you! This will be my first post, where I open up my heart and spill it all over the internet. My mom died of lung cancer last October. Just writing that sentence stings, and it will forever. Cancer is a Mother F***er.


My Mom and I had a great relationship, I miss it everyday.  Watching her go through cancer treatment was heartbreaking, yet I am extremely thankful that her treatment worked. We were so LUCKY. We got extra time. My Mom was well enough to be at the hospital when my son was born, and watch my daughter head off to Preschool for the very first time. We made the best of every day, I like to say I have zero regrets, but that's not true.
I regret that I didn't spend every minute with her, but I know that wasn't possible. I had a newborn, a threenager, a husband and a household to maintain. I balanced it all the best I could, and know I did my best. I regret not taking more pictures of her, especially with me in them. I have hundreds of selfies and cell phone pictures, but I wish I had taken my camera with me on every visit. I know she hated when I photographed her during that time, because she told me.


Almost a year to the day before she died, there was a beautiful sunflower field by our home. I bribed my parents with dinner and we headed off with hoards of other locals to find a spot among those gorgeous sunny flowers. I am so happy I did, because what we didn't know was shortly after that day her health would decline, quickly. Those are the last pictures I have of her that bring a non-cancer memory.
Following the sunflowers was a mix of hospital visits, chemo treatments, more hospital visits and finally an improvement in her health. By the grace of God, the day my son was born she was having a good week and her health continued to improve. I'm not sure if it was his sweet squishy face, or the fact that she fought hard, every day, to get one more day with him.
Over the summer she was feeling good, the weather was terrible but I didn't care, and she agreed to let me take her picture with the kids. I cherish those pictures because they are one of a handful that I can show my son when he gets older, and I know they will follow him forever.

People say my daughter looks like me, but I think she looks like my Mom. Her death motivated me to live a better life, spend more time with the ones I love and less time worrying about things that don't really matter. And, to start a photography business. Every picture I have of my Mother holds a story, a memory, a laugh, a tear. They fill my heart and I want to encourage everyone to have those same memories captured for their families. I LOVE giving other people memories.

So while it may seem a bit self serving, if you're on the fence about pictures, I'm here to tell you to do it. You will never regret capturing memories of your family. I would love to work with you, and document part of your story.

 

Jamie Bernier